Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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