is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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