So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
