6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
