I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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