I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
