My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
