I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
