I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
