i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
