isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
