I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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