My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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