Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
