i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
