is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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