You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
now i know why i became what i already was.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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