Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
