She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
