apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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