Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
