well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
