think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
