I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
