I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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