So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
