I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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