I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
