I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Your tits are I can't wait for
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you never un-have a 4some
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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