I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
