they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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