i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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