And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
