when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you made out with another girl for some wings
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
