don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
