The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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