I must be too annoying 4 u.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize