I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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