To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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