you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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