I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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