Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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