my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's blow job season.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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