Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
