Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize