tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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