I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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