scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
