My nipple is on Facebook.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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