How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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