What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize