I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Couch. On fire.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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