Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
