i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
