Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just want to make out with him forever
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
