Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
