is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Randomize
