Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
