Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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