It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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