New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
